http://www.jagular.com/blackandwhitenetfamily.shtmlIf I were a soft-drink advertising executive (perhaps Dr. Pepper or Jolt Cola or 7up) I would commission a series of half a dozen short films in the style of the black and white 1950's instructional films but on the subject of computers and the Internet. All of the clothing, furniture, household appliances, hairstyles and narration would be in the "Leave it to Beaver" style of those old instructional films and the only thing from the modern day would be the computer, the computer software, the Internet capabilities and the container of my product sitting on the desk. A modern bottle of Dr. Pepper or can of Jolt Cola or whatever would appear in some of the scenes and a character would occasionally take a drink but the product would not be mentioned and no product tag line or logo or voiceover would appear during any of the films. The films would be shown at the beginning of films shown during the Toronto International Film Festival as if they were trailers or in the same way that Coca-Cola shows special long commercials before films shown in movie theatres before Christmas.
The idea would work best if I (the imagined soft-drink ad exec) commissioned these films from a small, independent film-maker and allowed the film-maker a lot of freedom in writing and producing each film. After we agreed to the general nature of the series of films and to the approximate placement of the product I would provide sufficient funding to create the films in the proper style and then mostly leave the film-maker alone. We could agree that if I like the films and if they are well-received at the film festival that I will ask for the series to be reedited into 30-second television commercials which would be broadcast after the festival and a prearranged, generous commission paid to the film-maker. I would hope that this incentive would encourage the film-maker to make films which I would like and not to stray too far from my own intentions in asking for the films in the first place.
The style of the films would be as close as possible to the old 1950's instructional films. They would all be shot in black and white. The filmstock and lighting would match the old films. The characters would be "Dad" and "Mom" and "Sis" and "Little Jimmy" and so on. The furniture and household appliances would be genuine 1950's style. Mom would always wear heels and dresses and June Cleaver pearls and Dad would wear a tie. The characters would speak the same stiff sort of dialogue and the patronizing, deep-voiced narrator would sound the same. The same sort of cheery, stringy music would be played in the background. All of the family members would get along famously and Dad would be proud of his little family. Equally cheery and well-dressed friends would come to visit and everyone would smile as the narrator assures us that we too can live the good life. The old 1950's civil defense, fallout-shelter, "duck-and-cover" films we sometimes still see are good examples of the feel I would be looking for.
In contrast to the 1950's clothing and furniture and black and white style the actions of the characters and the content of the narration would be very modern. The family would have a modern computer and Internet connection. The computer would be seen next to a 1950's style television. The information discussed would be very accurate and useful. We would watch Little Jimmy install his own copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator '98 and upgrade his joystick to a version which will push back on the stick. Sis could upgrade her 486 CPU and ISA motherboard to a 300 MHz Pentium II with PCI, USB, SCSI, 64 Mb of DIMMs memory and a new 10 Gb hard drive. We could watch her download her new video drivers from the ATI website and see her edit the Windows registry to remove pieces of a damaged software program which could not be uninstalled through the "Add-Remove" window in the Windows Control Panel. The narrator (whose voice would have to closely match that of the narrators in the old films) could be heard to say "Mom is justifiably proud that Little Jimmy saved his GIF images using both the interlaced and transparent properties, thereby helping to keep the family home page in tip-top shape" or "If Sis had only used the Windows clipboard she could have saved herself hours of trouble typing that data all over again" or "Mom had always suspected that her parallel-port Iomega Zip drive might be conflicting with her printer so she gave her old Zip drive away and bought a nice new SCSI version instead". All of the information would be accurate and up-to-date and the films would be written so that they could stand alone as excellent instructional material. A film closely matching "Reefer Madness," with similar narration and actions could be made to point to the "dangers" of chat windows. Films recalling the feel of the cold war and bomb shelters could discuss computer viruses and people could be shown learning to "duck and cover" if they receive a virus warning. The key would be to closely match the sound and look and feel of the old films while still providing genuinely useful and accurate information about computers and the Internet.
The only way that viewers would know that these films are ads for soft-drinks is that they would occasionally see a modern container of the soft-drink product in the scene and a character would take a drink once in a while. The only modern looking objects in the films would be the computer equipment and the soft-drink container. Eventually people would hear from others that these are soft-drink ads but if you hadn't heard this and you didn't notice the beverage container you would have no idea who commissioned the films. It would be important that the film-maker feel a genuine sense of control and ownership over the films: the way to bring out their creativity is to give them room to work. It is possible that the series could be expanded and later used to help promote the products of a particular software manufacturer. If Little Jimmy and Sis are seen to have less trouble with the Symantec/Norton line of software products or if they are glad that they switched to Windows '98 or that they use a Macintosh computer (while their next-door neighbor Susan uses Intel equipment) then the series of films could be continued as ads for software and ads for soft-drinks at the same time.
I think that would work best if it were used to promote "alternative" products. I can see it working better for RC Cola or Dr. Pepper than it would for Coke or Pepsi and it might be better as a campaign for Symantec or Corel WordPerfect than it would be for Microsoft. It could also be used to promote the advantages of high-speed access to the Internet (cable or ADSL) and used to launch the widespread availability of one of those services. If this were done properly you would impress the film crowd and the Internet dweebs at the same time (admittedly a pretty cool crowd, after all, twenty years ago Bill Gates had nothing and now he is the wealthiest man in America). If the films gave out genuinely useful information about home computers and the Internet then many other people would come to appreciate them as well.
It would be important to properly balance several elements in these films. They would have to be close matches for the look and feel of the old 1950's instructional films, including the stiff but genuinely sincere actors and narration. They should be real short films with artistic merit which are primarily controlled by the film-maker (perhaps one of them could be shot in a style reminiscent of "Citizen Kane"). They should provide very useful and accurate information about computers and the Internet.
I believe that many of the people advertising on the Internet have mistakenly decided that the best way to advertise is to put your company logo in the face of as many people as possible, i.e., banner advertising. This is a mistake. Why would you think that annoying people is a good way to get them to buy your products? The way to advertise properly on the Internet (or anywhere else) is to become associated with things which people like.
If I were in charge of advertising at, say, the Royal Bank of Canada, I would pay to set up a website which gives out information about live performances in Toronto. I would set up the best, most up-to-date, user-friendly series of web pages available which allow people to know who is performing and where, to order tickets, to find out when and where each play will open and so on. I would make sure that this was one of the most attractive and usable sites of its kind available anywhere and all I would do to tell people that the site is sponsored by the Royal Bank is to put a small logo in the corner of every screen. The key is to become associated (in a non-intrusive way) with high-quality things which people genuinely enjoy. If I know that the Royal Bank has given me this information in a way which I find easy to use and sensitive to my needs as a person who attends live performances then I will tend to think that the Royal Bank will be sensitive and friendly regarding my financial needs as well.
I had actually thought about trying to produce one of these "black and white 'net family" films myself (I sort of know a couple of people who sort of know something about film) but I think that in order to do this properly you need proper costumes and sets and this would be sort of expensive. It would be fun to help write them or audition to be an actor or narrator though. In fact, if anyone who sees this page actually thinks it might be a good idea then all I would ask for is a chance to audition.
I also have an idea for producing a toy (for children and adults) called "The Li'l Safecracker Set" which would show, in large scale, the inner workings of locks. It would have a combination lock made of clear plastic which shows you how combination locks work and which shows you how to change the combination. It would have two key locks which show how they work and which show how a master key can open more than one lock. People would be able to move the lock pins in order to find out how to "re-key" a lock. A real lock-pick set and instructions would be included to show people how you pick a lock (I think that this might be the most popular feature - don't we all wonder how you pick a lock?). The set would include one of those door locks in which you push the buttons and it would show how you change the combination on those locks. Everything would be in a scale five or ten times larger than normal size and would be made so that all of the inner workings could be seen and so that the locks could all be taken apart and put back together again. I am actually thinking about making a prototype for this; even if I only ever make one of them I think it would be a fun thing to have.
Don't you just love the fact that a person with their own website can publish whatever they want and no-one can do anything about it?